Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
