make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
ttyl tear gas
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
