Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
