We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
