I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize