i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
