Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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