I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
