Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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