I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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