There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
