My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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