i would punch a child for taco bell
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
