quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
