That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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