the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
