Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
