i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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