I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize