If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize