Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize