im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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