"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
