We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
