How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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