apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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