My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
