Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
