i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize