I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
