I bet he comes in French.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
