YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
