Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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