She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
