Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
