i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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