sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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