C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
