We're facebook friends in real life
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
