A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
