My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
