I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
