he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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