my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
