Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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