Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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