So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
