i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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