Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
