how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
