I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
