Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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