Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My penis needs a shock collar
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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