He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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