I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
