I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
