hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
