Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
