I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
