I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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