Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
should my penis look like a turkey
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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