okay pat passed out under dana's car
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize