Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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