It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize