Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
