I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
okay pat passed out under dana's car
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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