the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize