When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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