Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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